I’m Back From My Fear Trip

Plane Landing

I’m Back From My Fear Trip!

You’re probably wondering what’s a “fear trip”?

A fear trip is one of those trips that mires you in inertia, keeps you from moving forward and creates an atmosphere of doubt and deception.  It’s like being stuck in your own personal time warp and you have the key but can’t open the lock.

A funny thing about fear – you can go along thinking you’ve conquered it and bam! It rears its ugly head when you least expect it.

I thought I was long over the fear of sharing my writing or speaking in a public forum.

So, what happened?

I won’t bore you with all the details but family, illnesses, “anything that gets-in-the-way-of-writing mishaps” and other related incidents kept me off course for months.

In reality, after such a long absence, fear stealthy moved in while I was busy doing other things.

Have you ever let that happen to you?

I’ve overcome other fears before. I put my first blog post out there in 2009, wrote numerous posts since then, published a book, and spoken to many groups. So, why have I allowed fear to keep me from writing for so long?

The truth is, the longer I stayed away, the wider the opening for fear to sneak in and give me room to create a story that I had no evidence to support.

My story was that I would write and no one would be there to read what I wrote and that you would have moved on to read someone else’s blog. That was my story and I stuck to it!

How could I possibly know that?  Can I peek over your shoulder and see what’s on your computer screen?

Remember, FEAR is “False Expectations Appearing Real” and like  most fears – mine were rooted in false expectations without any proof to support my story.

Once I got brutally honest about the real reason I neglected my blog for so long, I was able to dismiss the false “story” I created.

Fear can make a person see something that is not there, or hear something that is not said – Iyanla Vanzant

Does writing this post mean I’ve overcome the fear that no one will ever read my blog posts?

I don’t know…

I do know that one of the ways to overcome fear is to do the thing you fear.

I also know that, at this moment, I’m not fearful. I am taking a risk that you haven’t abandoned me and will let me know you read this by leaving a comment.

Just say hello, I’m still here.

Until next time …(yes, there will be a next time).

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Step Boldly Into Your Magnificence

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
– Marianne Williams

You would step boldly into your magnificence if you take to heart the above quote from Marianne Williams book,  A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”.

Do you minimize your accomplishments or shrink into the woodwork when it’s your time to shine?

Are you settling for less than you deserve in your personal life, career or social connections?

If your personal life is out of sorts, you’re stuck in an unfulfilling career, relationships and spend more time focused on other people’s problems, you are falling short of your magnificence.

To step boldly into your magnificence, I offer you the following suggestions:

  • Change your conversation – When you encounter people who speak negative, you notice it won’t be long before you start to speak in the same way.  Begin interjecting more positive talk into your conversations. Speak with integrity and refrain from engaging in negative conversations and meaningless activities that take away valuable time that could be spent developing magnificence.
  • Practice self mastery – Strive for excellence in your conversations, your actions and reactions. This is where you begin to shift your mindset which influences your behavior in becoming magnificent.   A very practical and powerful guide to living magnificently can be found in The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Michael Ruiz. Simply put, the four agreements are:

1.   Be Impeccable With Your Words
2.  Don’t Take Anything Personally
3.  Don’t Make Assumptions
4.  Always Do Your  Best

These four agreements are a practical guide for living authentic, confident, and in harmony with your best self.

Here are a few additional suggestions to step boldly into your magnificence:

  • Attract magnificence – Once you commit to striving for excellence, the next step is when you turn your attention to others who are magnificent. Like attracts like.  And when you are fully committed to magnificence, you will attract others who are focused and committed to living their best life.
  • Take a risk – We all have faced challenges, obstacles, conflicts and struggles.  And we must not let these things stop us from taking risks.  Certainly, I don’t mean anything dangerous or harmful but to carefully consider stretching yourself to do more, achieve more and be more! Playing safe is a direct path to regret.
  • Dare to be different – No one knows better than you what you want. So, set your own expectations and guide for your life.  Trying to live up to someone else’s expectations for you is a sure way to sabotage your magnificence.

Show up bold, confident and step into your limelight.  The world is waiting for you!

And, to get other self-care tips, tools and resources to stay focused and motivated to attract more joy, more time and more energy in your life, start by getting your copy of Master the Genie Within: Uncover, Embrace and Celebrate the Real You

Gladys Anderson – Life Coach, Therapist, Author

Certified Life Coach, Family therapist and Group Coaching Specialist, Gladys M. Anderson, works with individuals and couples who want to receive and revive the love, passion, respect and fun that’s been missing from their relationships.

How To Throw Light On Fears That Keep You In The Dark

Are you feeling like you are scrambling around lost in a dark tunnel without a flashlight to guide you?  Fear can make you feel that way.

Don’t beat yourself up. There are a lot of women who experience that same feeling while doing and giving even more to our families, careers, and community responsibilities that we often feel overwhelmed by the sheer volume of things we have on our plates.

I’ve felt that way myself from time to time while I was trying to juggle a gazillion hats, taking care of everybody but me and living a life of overwhelm, confusion and anxiety.

The same kind of fear you feel when you find yourself in an unfamiliar dark place with no way to see your way out is the kind of fear that a lot of women experience every day.  It’s the kind of fear that puts limits how you live your life, keeps you stuck in roles you didn’t create and hinders you from living a life of freedom and joy.

We all have moments of fear but when it immobilizes you and keeps you from living your best life, that’s when it’s time to shed some light on fear and expose it for what it really is.

So how do you do that?

  • First, you must understand the difference between healthy fear that keeps you safe and unhealthful fear that keeps mired in overwhelm, worry and uncertainty.  Fear is a False Expectation Appearing Real [without any proof].  Take a close look at the belief you hold that is powering the fear.  For example,  if your comfort zone doesn’t allow you to risk taking on a new challenge  or  pursuing an opportunity that you know you want, maybe you’ve received a  negative message early in your life that you’ve translated into a strong negative  belief about yourself and/or your abilities
  • Secondly, know without a doubt that fear has no power except that which you give it.  Look fear straight in the eye and say, “you can no longer control me and keep me hostage”.  Take back your power with a vengeance.
  • And, last, but not least, be able to recognize when unhealthful fear appears in your life.  Consider the times when you didn’t speak up just so you would avoid conflict. Question your real motivation for not taking a desired action.  Are you operating out of guilt, frustration or because of perceived expectations?

Once you are clear about what fears keep you stuck in intolerable situations and overwhelm, you’re in a position to write a new script for your life where you become the sole author, editor and producer of your new destiny.

Doesn’t that sound yummy…

To stay connected and get more tips,  join us in the Self-Care Circle to get even more  gems and insights.

Until Next time…

Gladys Anderson – Life Coach, Therapist, Author

Gladys Anderson, founder of Coach for YOUR Dreams, is a certified life coach, licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and speaker. Gladys combines years of experience, training and a genuine commitment to helping nurses, teachers, therapists and other care giving women to set limits so they have more time, and energy to devote to self-care.