What You’re Looking For is Right There in Front of You

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Have you ever misplaced something in your house and found it was right there in front of you all the time?

How annoying is that?

This morning I opened the door to get the morning paper and immediately realized I didn’t have on my glasses.  While I won’t look across the room and mistake you for a creature from outer space, I do need glasses to read. But, I’m constantly misplacing them. This morning was one of those times.

If you’ve ever played the game hide and seek, you can identify with my frustration when I can’t locate my glasses. Hide and seek is a fun game children play. In the game, one person is designated as it; and is charged with finding the hiders. First, someone is picked to be it, then he/she turns around and counts to 20-30 with their eyes closed while everyone else hides. When it says ready or not, here I come – the hunt for the hiders begins.

So I start my familiar hide and seek game with me being the it looking for the hiders (my glasses).

Are they hiding in the bedroom?

Maybe they are under a blanket? Are they hiding in the corner of my desk?

Where could they be?

I go from room to room until I return to my original spot downstairs, thinking I may have overlooked the obvious hiding place. Still no luck. Finally, when I’m about ready to give up, I spot my glasses right there on the kitchen counter next to where I made coffee. This scenario happens often. And today, it reminds me of how often we’re looking for things that are right in front of us – things like our success, motivation, time and energy.

Take a moment now to see if any of these things are right there in front of you:

  • The awesomeness of a magnificent sunset
  • The beauty in a picturesque sunrise
  • A favorite painting that invigorates you
  • Fond memories that revive feelings of joy
  • An overwhelming feeling of gratitude for abundance
  • The soothing aroma of fresh perked coffee
  • The smell of freshly cut grass

So when you’re frustrated searching for something you’ve misplaced, remember what you’re looking for may already be right there in front of you!

Until next time…

Gladys Anderson – Life Coach, Therapist, Author

Certified Life Coach, Family Therapist and Group Coaching Specialist, Gladys M. Anderson helps nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists and other care-giving women to set limits so they have more time, more joy and more energy for self-care.

It’s Always the Time to Celebrate YOU!

Get out the candles, balloons and confetti and let’s party! It’s always the time to celebrate YOU by honoring your accomplishments! Rejoice in the things you did; the things you didn’t do; and your victories – big and small.

How many times have you worked hard to get a promotion, struggled and sacrificed to lose that final 10 pounds, or passed a class with flying colors only to let the accomplishment pass by with hardly a notice?

Were you that busy or just didn’t think it worthy of celebration?

Women are notorious for downplaying the valuable and worthwhile things we do and easily forgo the significance of rewards for a job done well. Traditionally, with the exception of Mother’s Day, women don’t commemorate accomplishments such as going through a difficult time and coming out victorious; maintaining an orderly and clean household, or throwing and organizing a party with pizazz.

Men, on the other hand, have always been encouraged to observe their achievements – promotions, fatherhood, and sporting victories. Although, women are out in the world making a difference everyday, we still need to stop and remind ourselves to breathe and pat ourselves on the back for jobs well done.

So what will you do to make sure you take notice of  your successes?

If you’ve completed a class, lost weight, decluttered a drawer, organized an event, volunteered or kept a commitment to yourself – you have something to celebrate NOW. And, no rewarding yourself for the good things you do is not being self-indulgent or conceited.  Simply put, you Celebrate the “being” of you! by taking time to acknowledge your contributions and achievements. If you’re not in the habit of doing things to Celebrate YOU, then the following can serve as a guide:

  • Buy a bouquet of flowers for yourself – this is one of my favorites and you can do this not just to celebrate but anytime you need a lift.
  • Delight in a day of pampering – Give someone a chance to serve you instead of the other way around.  If you usually do your own hair or nails, schedule an appointment at a salon to get the pampering you deserve.
  • Toot your own horn – Plan a milestone birthday party just the way you want it.  Or you don’t have to wait for a birthday.  Why not plan a Tuesday party and celebrate all the good things that have happened in your life on a Tuesday or a particular date in a month.
  • Treat yourself to a fun activity that you rarely make time to do. For example, plan to schedule an afternoon movie marathon. Even if you spend a Sunday afternoon watching Lifetime Movies, do that – if it’s something you enjoy.
  • Indulge in some deliciously sinful dessert or some other treat you usually pass up. Even while watching the calories, you can still treat yourself in moderation.

Let’s hear all the unique and creative ways you celebrate your victories!  Leave your comments here on the blog.

Gladys Anderson – Life Coach, Therapist, Author

Gladys Anderson, founder of Coach for YOUR Dreams, is a certified life coach, licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and speaker. Gladys combines years of experience, training and a genuine commitment to helping nurses, teachers, therapists and other care giving women to set limits so they have more time, and energy to devote to self-care.

How to Avoid Giving Up YOU While Giving to Others

Do you open your gifts with wild abandonment, ripping off the paper as fast as you can or are you like me, someone who gingerly opens gifts being extra careful not to destroy the wrapping?

My friends will tell you that I savor opening gifts, delicately taking my time carefully unwrapping it, making sure I don’t rip the paper and I usually save it to repurpose, particularly if it’s attractively wrapped.  For my type A personality friends, who hurriedly rip open their gifts leaving behind a trail of jumbled paper, all the attention I give to unwrapping gifts must drive them nuts.

But, I also enjoy carefully selecting and giving gifts as much as I enjoy receiving them.

The catch-22 is that most of the time, you are more comfortable giving to others than you are giving to yourself.  Your families, friends, and other relationships get gifts wrapped in pretty wrapped gifts and unparalleled attention while you’re simmering on the back burner waiting for some illusive time when you will take care of YOU.

If you want to get crystal clear about how to avoid giving up YOU while giving to others, here are a few gift suggestions for you:

  1. Give up trying to be perfect. Give up trying to be the perfect partner, the perfect employee, the perfect hostess, the perfect parent, the perfect daughter, or perfect friend.  You may never throw a party like Martha Stewart, or organize your workspace and empty your inbox but what you can have is the ability to accept the situation as it is.  There is such a thing as “good enough” and when you’ve done your best – it’s good enough.  The expectation of perfection is a recipe for burnout, resentment and frustration. Remember, someone else’s expectations of you and for you may not be your reality.
  2. Set strong boundaries around your energy. Take a hard look at the energy zappers in your life – TV, gossip, people who zap your energy with negativity, criticizers and complainers. Sort through these energy zappers and see which of them you can remove or at least limit your exposure to them.
  3. Give up having to know everything in advance before you take action. Planning is a beautiful thing but when you spend significant amounts of time trying to figure out every possible scenario before making a decision, you are actually worrying which just adds unnecessary stress to your life. Put yourself on auto-response.  Auto response means you don’t get caught up in every little detail.  You’re not trying to figure out every possible contingency. You do, however. make carefully thought out decisions and take responsibility for  your actions.
  4. Don’t give up on you while giving to others. If you’re continually running on empty, putting off taking care of yourself and not doing what it takes to stay emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually healthy, it will be impossible for you to have anything left to give.

Until next time…

Gladys Anderson – Life Coach, Therapist, Author

Gladys Anderson, founder of Coach for YOUR Dreams, is a certified life coach, licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and speaker. Gladys combines years of experience, training and a genuine commitment to helping nurses, teachers, therapists and other care giving women to set limits so they have more time, and energy to devote to self-care.

Honoring Women Who Blazed New Trails

Anna Marie Jarvis campaigned to establish a day honoring mothers following the death of her mother, Ann Jarvis.  A small service was held on 12 May 1905 in the Andrew’s Methodist Episcopal Church in Grafton, West Virginia where Anna’s mother had been teaching Sunday school.  But the first “official” service was held on May 10, 1908.

Ann Marie then proceeded to get Mother’s Day established as a U.S. national holiday, and later as an international holiday. The holiday was declared officially by the state of West Virginia in 1910, and the rest of states soon followed quickly.

And as we approach this special day set aside to honor Mothers, I can’t think of a better time to also pay tribute to women and highlight some of the innovative, caring, and selfless contributions women do and have done to make our world a better place.

Here are just a few of those women:

Dorthea Dix – a compassionate nineteenth-century crusader for the poor and mentally handicapped.

Nurse Clara Barton – a caring woman who founded the American Red Cross.

Madam CJ Walker – a creative entrepreneur who built her empire developing hair products for black women.

Annie Edison Taylor – a brave schoolteacher from Michigan who was the first person to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel.

Amelia Earhart – a risk taking woman who flew  solo, nonstop across the Atlantic Ocean.

Ann Bancroft, a daring woman who was the first woman to walk to the North Pole.

Grandma Moses – Anna Mary Robertson Moses, a “it’s never too late” woman who took up painting at the age of 76.

Harriet Tubman – A fearless leader of the Underground Railroad, which brought slaves to freedom.

Bessie Coleman – followed her dream and became the first woman to earn an international pilot’s license

Gertrude Ederle  – a spirited woman who was the first woman to swim across the English Channel.

Sarah E. Goode – a visionary woman who designed and received a patent for a bed that folded up into a cabinet.

Annie Edson Taylor – an adventuresome  schoolteacher from Michigan who was the first person to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel.

Those of you in the US and celebrating Mother’s Day, I wish you a day filled with joy, peace and love.

If you’re like me and your own Mother is no longer physically with you, you’re located where Mother’s Day is not observed or maybe you’re not officially a mother, I hope you take this as a reminder to honor all of the brave, talented, committed, caring and innovative women on whose shoulders all women stand.

Take some time now out of your busy day to honor all the women in your life that inspire,  support and encourage you.

Until next time…

Gladys Anderson, founder of Coach for YOUR Dreams, is a certified life coach, licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and speaker. Gladys combines years of experience, training and a genuine commitment to helping nurses, therapists, teachers and other caregivers balance the many demands on their time and energy, create boundaries  that shift balance from overwhelm to energized, and live their lives with courage, confidence and clarity.

Top 3 Things You Can Do To Set Boundaries That Give You Control of Your Life

There is so much in life we have little or no control over. You can’t control the weather or the sun rising or setting but the good news is there are many other things that you absolutely CAN control. Here are some of them:

1) Let Go of Expectations

Let go of the notion that you can change another person, their actions or non-actions. Your moral compass may not be the same as someone else’s. When you let go of the expectations you have of others, you can have more control of your own life. It opens up your mind to focus on your own life and more time to focus on what truly matters to YOU. When you let go of the expectations you have of others, you will no longer allow anyone to yank your chain causing knee-jerk reaction fraught with havoc, frustration and anxiety.

2) Know the Difference Between Self-Confidence and Controlling

Confidence means that you believe in your ability to set consistent boundaries, priorities and realistic expectations for yourself and others. To control means that you wish to manage the actions of others and/or the outcome of things around you. Remember, the only person you have any control over is YOU. As your confidence level grows, you will be able to let go of the outcomes for things that you have no control over.

3) Coach people how you want to be treated

A crucial step in having more control over your life is the ability to teach others how you wish to be treated. You don’t have any control over others’ actions; however, you do have control over what boundaries you set around how you allow others to treat you. If you find yourself constantly stressed by the things you let other people to bring into your life, you may want to begin asking yourself, “is it worth having these people or things in my life any longer?” Make yourself a priority and you will find that others will treat you with the respect you deserve. Remember, no one can walk over you unless you willingly lie down.

Keep these tips in mind as you set personal boundaries to make sure you stay focused and in control of you! And for even more tip, get your copy of Building Strong Boundaries to Create Breathing Space in Your Hectic Life

Gladys Anderson – Life Coach, Therapist, Author

Gladys Anderson, founder of Coach for YOUR Dreams, is a certified life coach, licensed marriage and family therapist, writer and speaker. Gladys combines years of experience, training and a genuine commitment to helping nurses, therapists, teachers and other caregivers balance the many demands on their time and energy, create boundaries  that shift balance from overwhelm to energized, and live their lives with courage, confidence and clarity.