When you think of a relationship do you think of the connection you have with your family, friends, money, co-workers and neighbors?
Of course you do.
But wait, don’t you also want to think about the loving healthy relationship you have with yourself? You do have a healthy, loving relationship with yourself, don’t you?
Or what about the relationship you have with money, your emotional well being, your integrity and your values?
One of my favorite songs is “I’ve Never Been to Me” by Nancy Wilson. In the song, she sings about meeting kings, queens and all the dreams she’s deferred but never been free to be herself. At least that’s my take on the song.
A lot of people have the trappings of what society tells us is a successful life. Take the case of Charlie Sheen, the TV star of the hit comedy, Two and a Half Men. You may recall the train wreck that caused him to fall from grace and self destruct. He had the huge salary, dream homes with luxurious furnishings, fancy cars, jewelry, and exotic vacations. But none of these accessories and outward signs of success equated to happiness and personal freedom.
Ultimately, you and only you are in charge of your happiness and success. All the money in the world does not insure you are living a successful, content and productive life.
If you feel coerced into doing something that you don’t personally approve of, you’re chipping away at your personal freedom.
When you lack the courage to ask questions and speak up for what’s right, you slice away at your integrity.
The freedom you’re looking for won’t come from engaging in reckless behavior or living a life of the rich and famous. The freedom you seek is the freedom to be real, uncovering the loving, brave and self-governed spirit that’s beneath all the outward signs of a happy and fulfilled life.
If you live an authentic life, you’ll never have to bemoan the song, “I’ve Never Been to Me”. If you do relate to the song, it means you’ve lost touch with your core self – the part of you that can’t easily be persuaded to follow the crowd – the part of you that has a core value system that can’t be compromised.
When you can stand up for what you believe without apology and do what’s right, even if you have to risk distancing yourself from family, friends and colleagues, you show up as the “real you”. Your beliefs, actions and values are in alignment and outer trappings of happiness and success do not sway you.
Keep in mind that the relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship you’ll ever have.
How is the relationship you have with yourself?
Certified Life Coach, Family therapist and Group Coaching Specialist, Gladys M. Anderson, helps nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists and other busy overwhelmed women to set limits so they have more time, more joy and more energy for self-care.