Silent Agreements You Make With Yourself

An agreement is defined as  coming to a mutual arrangement, the state of being in accord or an arrangement that is accepted by all parties to a transaction.
There are many types of agreements that we enter into such as a legal contract, an agreement to provide a service or product or an agreement to give or do a favor for someone and then there are the silent agreements we make with ourselves.

Silent agreements rob you of your voice and power and often guide you into making decisions that are counterproductive to your true wishes.

Silent agreements are the unspoken rules and beliefs that you internalize about how, why and what things you allow to influence you.  These agreements are not legal or binding.  No one has forced, persuaded or cajoled you into making these agreements.

Some of the silent agreements that may hinder, limit or influence your life are:

  • Taking responsibility for everything and everyone in your life.  For example, when you take on more and more responsibility than is yours, you’ll find yourself   running on the hamster wheel until you wear yourself out.  Allow others to be responsible for the things that they are responsible for.
  • Staying stuck because of fear and doubt – Fear of being accepted, loved, validated or liked will show up in how you relate to the people in your life and the choices you make.
  • Pleasing everyone but yourself – When you are busy making sure that everyone is happy and getting along, how happy are you in that role?
  • Saying “yes” when you really want to say “no”.  Learning to say no and mean it is an empowering act that increases your confidence.
  • Using disparaging comments about yourself.

You may not be consciously aware that you’ve made these silent agreements with yourself.  But with a little digging, you can uncover these silent agreements, make new affirming agreements and be on your way to revealing your true self.

Here are a few suggestions to get you started:

  1. Take responsibility for only those things you have absolute control of.
  2. Use affirmations, positive self-talk to overcome fear and self-doubt.
  3. Learn to use no as a complete sentence without explanation when saying yes infringes unduly on your time, energy and desires.
  4. Make sure your needs register on the priority scale.  Carve out some “self-care” time to replenish your energy and clear your mind of clutter.
  5. Use empowering words like, “I choose” instead of “I have to” so that you are expressing clearly what you want, can do and are willing to accept.

Our silent agreements only serve to deceive others and us as we hide our true selves.

To learn more about how silent agreements influence your daily life and to uncover your true self, I encourage you to start by getting your free 7 daily self-care tips when you join our Self-Care Circle where you will gain more insight, tools and resources to help you on your journey.

 

Gladys Anderson | Self-Care GenieGladys M. Anderson is a certified life coach, licensed marriage & family therapist, consultant, workshop facilitator and author of the soon to be published book, “Master the Genie Within”. She coaches women in the art of saying no and how to protect their precious time and energy by setting strong boundaries to create a uniquely crystal clear vision for the satisfying careers and relationships they truly want.

Tap Into Your Inner Wizard to Overcome Fear and Doubt

You might wish you had enough courage live authentically, write a best selling novel or live with purpose and authority. You might long for loving, fulfilling relationships with your partner, family and friends.  Or you think you don’t know the answers to the probing questions you have.

The answers you’re looking for already within you. You already have the intelligence,  courage and confidence to achieve your hearts desire.

But doubt and fear have you stuck so that you can’t find your way back to the happiness and success you desire.

No matter what other dreams you have, being happy is a dream most people share.

Yet, a lot of people are “unhappy”, given up on their dreams, constantly overwhelmed, confused and lack the strength to implement changes in their lives.

Often, underneath this unhappiness is fear coupled with limiting beliefs that cloud their thinking about what is possible.

And, they’re looking for answers everywhere but within themselves.

Everything you want is already within your grasp if you only look deep inside to find it.

Wizard of ozDo you remember “The Wizard of Oz” movie where all the characters thought they could get what they needed from the Wizard?

The Scarecrow thought he needed a brain

The Tin Man thought he didn’t have a heart

The Cowardly Lion thought he had no courage

Dorothy wanted to find a way to go home

As it turned out, everything they wanted and needed was already there within them. All they had to do was look inside for the answers. The answers were buried deep in their thoughts.  Once the doubt, fear and limiting beliefs are pushed aside, the scarecrow realized his brain was functioning just fine; the tin man figured out he was capable of showing emotions; the cowardly lion recognized he was already brave; and Dorothy discovered she simply had to click the ruby red slippers she already wore to get back home.

Just like the Wizard of Oz characters, your inner wizard is standing by ready, willing and able to give you a gentle nudge to remind you that everything you want in life is already within your grasp.

And to get you bouncing down the yellow brick road, here are some tips to help you tap into your heart’s desires:

  • To get happy, be happy. I know that sounds overly simplistic but the reality is you become what you think.  Don’t allow negativity, doubt and fear keep you from being happy. If you want more joy in your life, think uplifting thoughts.
  • To have more, be grateful for what you already have.  Remember, a closed fist is not open to receiving.  Open yourself up to receive the abundance the universe has in store for you.  The more you show gratitude for what you already have, the more room you have to receive.
  • Keep dreaming. Your dreams can motivate you to take action towards your unique desires. If you can dream it, you can achieve it. No one can take away your dream or live it.  Whatever you desire, start now putting in place the steps to get you there.
  • Surround yourself with people who are uplifting, supportive and encouraging to keep you motivated.

Remember Dorothy, the Tin man, the Cowardly Lion and the Scarecrow…They all had self-doubt, fear and limiting thoughts about themselves and what they could do that thwarted what they really wanted. But in the end, it was their inner wizard that showed them how to live confidently, courageously and step boldly into the lives that were already destined for them.

And, for support in discovering your inner wizard, I invite you to join our Self Care Circle where you will you’ll get helpful tips on living well, gems of insight and advance notice of my blog posts, events and programs.

Gladys Anderson, Life Coach, Therapist, Author

Gladys M. Anderson is a certified life coach, licensed marriage & family therapist, consultant, workshop facilitator and author of the soon to be published book, “Master the Genie Within”. She coaches women in the art of saying no and how to protect their precious time and energy by setting strong boundaries to create a uniquely crystal clear vision for the satisfying careers and relationships they truly want. In her spare time, Gladys loves to travel and experience new and exciting adventures. She is an amateur genealogist, avid reader, loves “techy” stuff, and especially enjoys reading mystery novels.

10 Inspirational Tips to Give Yourself a Boost

Dancers

Most of us can use a little push, from time to time, to help us shift our mood and lift our spirits when we’re bored, drained, and sluggish.

While your energy level might be low and you feel unmotivated, you don’t have to stay that way!

Here are some easy tips you can follow  to give yourself a boost to inspire, encourage and rejuvenate your mind, body and spirit:

    1. Start a gratitude journal. Write down 5 things you are grateful for each day.  Showing appreciation for the things you already have keeps you from dwelling on lack and scarcity.
    2. Try out a new hairdo – nothing perks you up like a new “do” to uplift your spirits
    3. Listen to some up-tempo music – this is not the time for ballads and blues – you want inspiration, not something to put you down in the dumps.
    4. Visit a walk-in salon and get a manicure, pedicure or facial to rejuvenate you.
    5. Re-connect with a friend or neighbor to enjoy a cup of coffee or soothing up of tea.
    6. Put on your dancing shoes – go dancing with someone who likes to dance. A salsa or Zumba class is a great activity to get you moving and at the same time have some fun.
    7. Go to your local library – select a good inspirational book, sit quietly and read for an hour or borrow a comedic video to enjoy at home in your favorite chair with your feet up.
    8. Take a walk around your neighborhood – Carry a camera with you as you walk around your neighborhood to capture memorable moments.  You might be pleasantly surprised at the things you miss while driving.
    9. Write down your thoughts, ideas and musings in an attractive journal so you’ll have a record of all the great ideas you come up with.
    10. Browse your bookshelf or magazine rack – There just might be a book or magazine there you’ve been meaning to read. Select one and immerse yourself in it for an hour.

And, if you would like more inspiration and motivation tips, I invite you to become a member of our Self-Care Circle and get your free audios of 7 Daily Self-Care Tips to Renew Your Body, Soul and Spirit  http://7dailyselfcaretips.com

Gladys M. Anderson | Self-Care Genie

Gladys Anderson – Life Coach, Therapist, Author

Gladys M. Anderson is a certified life coach, licensed marriage & family therapist, consultant, workshop facilitator and author of the soon to be published book, “Master the Genie Within”. She coaches women in the art of saying no and how to protect their precious time and energy by setting strong boundaries to create a uniquely crystal clear vision for the satisfying careers and relationships they truly want. In her spare time, Gladys loves to travel and experience new and exciting adventures. She is an amateur genealogist, avid reader, loves “techy” stuff, and enjoys reading mystery novels.