5 Ways You Can Live the Life You Deserve

Couple having fun on beachYou’re entitled to live the life you deserve unencumbered by the perceptions others have of you.  “What others think of you is none of your business,” says Byron Katie, best selling author of the book, Loving What is. If only we could embrace that truth, our lives would be filled with less drama and confusion.

Recently I spoke to someone who had formed a flawed perception of who I really am based on misinformation, opinions of others and experiences that had nothing to do with me.

If you’ve ever been on the receiving end that kind of behavior, you know exactly what it’s like.

I haven’t always been able or willing to decode others’ perceptions or understand how they feel about themselves is a direct reflection of their interaction with me. Fortunately, I’m now at a place in my life where I can receive this kind assessment, process it, possibly engage in honest conversation and move on.

“Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drown your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs

The above quote by Steve Jobs is an important reminder to live life the life you deserve, every day without censorship or based on what someone else thinks about you.

When we avoid or deny our deepest yearnings and allow faulty perceptions formed by other people to derail our deepest desires, we chip away at the core of who we really are.

Here are 5 ways you can live the life you deserve:

1. Create your bucket list. A bucket list is a starting point for you to list all the joyful, exciting, and interesting things you want to experience and achieve in your life. It doesn’t matter if no one wants to share your adventure. I still haven’t found anyone willing to join me on a hot air balloon ride. That’s not going to stop me, though. You may have something a little less daring than a hot air balloon ride on your bucket list but it doesn’t matter as long as it’s something that peaks your interest and YOU want to do it.

2. Look at the glass as half full – not half empty. How you perceive things and a positive attitude goes a long way towards living a fulfilled life. We filter everything and everyone through our perceptions. And our perceptions are formed by our personal experiences, beliefs, interpretations and expectations about others and ourselves.

3. Visualize your future. Imagine what you want your life to be like one year from now, three years from now and five years from now. Put your vision on paper. Develop a plan of action to get you where you want to be.

4. Get out of your comfort zone. If you’re stuck in a predictable routine or comfort zones, stretch yourself to try new things. Take a class, travel, rearrange your surroundings, get rid of clutter, volunteer or mentor a child.

5. Let go. There are two ways I look at letting go.  One is getting rid of tangible things that are no longer useful or serve a purpose.  And, the other is letting go of the mental clutter like limiting beliefs that prevent you from living the life you deserve and want.  Whenever you’re surrounded by clutter – mental or physical – your ability to move forward and make meaningful change is severely limited.

And, to learn even more about how you can live the life you deserve, I invite you to get my latest book, Master the Genie Within: Uncover, Embrace and Celebrate the Real You.

How Problems, Patterns and Perceptions Influence Your Behaviors

Woman pondering what If you’re anything like a lot of people, you’ve had your share of problems. And, that could be anything from a pesky leaky faucet to totaling your new car.

In the book, Power is Within You, written by the wise Louise Hays, she talks about how the problems we have with our cars may suggest some inner issue that we have not faced.  For example, if  you’re feeling stuck and can’t seem to move forward, that feeling might show up in the form of a flat tire preventing you from getting to your destination.

And, just as you would call your local auto club or a friend to fix your tire, you must call on your inner reserves and delve deep into the patterns and perceptions you embrace to repair the irrational beliefs that are keeping you stuck.

Maybe you believe you can’t do anything right. You may regularly find yourself making mistakes that you label “stupid or dumb” such as forgetting to put the trash out on trash day. That’s a simple mistake that can easily be remedied and has nothing to do with your capabilities or worth.

Whether you believe it or not, the events that occur in our lives are directly connected to what we believe about the world, other people and ourselves.

We simply assume that the way we see things is the way they really are or the way they should be. And our attitudes and behaviors grow out of these assumptions – Stephen Covey

Here are a few things to consider about problems, patterns and perceptions:

1. Inspect Your Expectations

Make a conscious effort to place realistic expectations on yourself and others. Try your best to consider the other person’s perspective. Ask yourself is your expectation is the result of a pattern or perception that the other person is not aware of. For example, your expectation might be that your daughter should rearrange her plans to take you to the mall today. Your may think that because she is your daughter, she should accommodate your request. If the word “should” enters your thoughts, it’s because you’re operating out of expectations.

2. Revise Your Patterns

A pattern is simply a blueprint of things you’ve always done. For example, if you’ve “always” hosted Sunday dinner for your in-laws, you’ve established a Sunday pattern. If you’ve ever sewn anything, you know that any pattern can easily be altered. The way to change a pattern is to measure and compare. Grade yourself on a scale of 1-10 as to whether or not you feel obligated, coerced or put upon by continuing this pattern,(with 10 being the most you are vested in sticking to the original pattern). If you find you’re stuck in a pattern that no longer works for you, change it to something that fits better with your timetable and lifestyle. And, of course, you can always say NO to anything you really don’t want to do!

3. Pesky Problems

Sometimes what we view as problems are nothing more than a bump in the road. It’s not a problem when you’re running late for an appointment and discover you have a flat tire. It’s an inconvenience. When your computer freezes up on you in the middle of a document, it’s not a problem. It’s an inconvenience. Many times we label inconveniences as problems when, in fact, it’s our perception and attitudes that allow “problems” to dictate our behavior and responses. It’s all about how you perceive them. If you view something as a problem, it will be a problem. But if you reframe it as an inconvenience, you know that it’s temporary and won’t change the course of your life.

Most of the time, it’s our perceptions and expectations that create “problems” and establish patterns that no longer fit. For more tips about how to align your perceptions with realistic expectations, I encourage you to get my book, Master the Genie Within