Loosen Your Grip on Time

Clock in handTime is a precious commodity just like gold or diamonds.  But, we don’t always value our time the same as we do for something we can reach out and touch.  We say, we waste time, kill time, make time and hold onto time.  And, we think time flies as fast as a 747.  We never seem to have enough of it or we have too much.

Yet, we are all given the same gift of 24 of hours or 1440 minutes in a 24-hour period.

So, how are you using this valuable gift?

I started to think about how I spend my time recently when one of my subscribers said, “I have to loosen my grip on my time”. I wasn’t quite sure what she meant by that so I asked.

This is part of the answer she gave me:

“We must loosen our grip on our time and minds by letting go of what no longer serves us”…

The more I thought about what she said, the more I realized how much time I spend playing my favorite game, Chuzzle or flitting from website to website when I could be doing something much more productive.

Here are some ideas to loosen your grip on time:

  • Re-evaluate your priorities – Are you focusing on how much you have to do with little time to complete your tasks?   Do you want to paint the bathroom, rearrange the cupboards or spend quality time with your family?  Only you can decide what’s most important to you and how much you can accomplish within a given time frame.  Set realistic priorities on your time and energy to avoid overwhelm.
  • Eliminate unnecessary interruptions – Chit chat is a great way to unwind and catch up with friends.  But if you’re spending hours on the phone, perhaps you could reduce the time you talk on the phone or simply turn off the ringer so you can accomplish one of the goals you’ve set for yourself.
  • Perform a mind cleanse – Whenever  you’re feeling like you’re running out of time, stop for a few minutes to  clear the cobwebs clinging to your brain. It my sound counterproductive, but taking a few minutes to unwind will give you the energy boost you need to continue the tasks at hand.

Maybe you don’t play games, surf the web endlessly or spend your time talking on the phone, but I’ll bet you can easily think of some ways you can use your 1440 minutes doing something more productive and rewarding.

How do you loosen your grip on time?  Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Gladys M. Anderson – Life Coach, Therapist, Author

Gladys Anderson helps nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists and other care-giving women to set limits so they have more time, more joy and more energy for self-care.

Personal Boundary Success Tips

Image in mirrorYour relationships are mirror images of the view you have of yourself and are a direct reflection of the relationships you have in your life.  You are an integral part of any relationship and the role you play is crucial as to whether or not your relationships are successful, healthy, thriving or unhealthy and withering. Without relationships in your life, you would not know what upsets you, what excites you, when to make a choice that’s in your best interest or what things trigger an automatic negative or positive response in you. That’s why it’s important to set strong boundaries around what you will do, accept, and give.

“Without a strong concept of your boundaries, you can easily react and respond in ways that don’t honor the person you truly are”

You may see some of these behaviors displayed when you or someone you know doesn’t have strong boundaries:

  1. Appearing timid and fearful in unfamiliar settings
  2. Constantly “busy” with rarely any time to take care of yourself
  3. Agreeing to do things out of guilt even when you’re screaming “NO” inside
  4. Generously gives of her time and energy but has difficulty receiving compliments or gifts from others
  5. Often says, “I don’t know” or “It doesn’t matter” when faced with making a choice/decision
  6. Worries about making mistakes or overly concerned with what others will think of her

Any of the above behaviors are merely smoke screens to hide the fact that boundaries are weak. To clear the fog, here are some personal boundary success tips you can use to replace weak boundary behaviors:

  • Focus on your resources, gifts, talents and abilities. List all the things you’ve been able to accomplish. This is your success sheet. By focusing on your past successes, you build confidence and are motivated to try something new.
  • Spend some time in quiet reflection to think about what you want to attract into your life. It may be easier at first to list all the things you don’t want and then turn them into positive things you do want.
  • Learn to accept compliments/gifts graciously. Don’t say, “you shouldn’t have” or “this old thing – I’ve had it forever”.  Simply, say, “thank you” and nothing else. You may have to practice refraining from embellishment a few times until you get comfortable accepting gifts and compliments graciously.
  • Whenever there’s a slip up in setting your boundaries, look at it as a learning opportunity and move on. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes. The important thing is that you recognize the mistake and grow from it.
  • Acknowledge all feelings – anger, sadness, anxiety, fear, and depression. All of your feelings are valid. Either confide in a trusted friend or write your thoughts in a journal so that they don’t linger on them and allow them to derail your efforts.
  • Avoid negative self-talk. Don’t call yourself “lazy”, “stupid, or say things like, “I never do anything right, I’m such a screw up”. Your words become your thoughts and your thoughts become your actions. So, be careful of the words you use so that the words you say to yourself don’t become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Your personal boundary is the foundation for every relationship, interaction and reaction you have. Strong personal boundaries lay the groundwork for how you treat yourself and how you allow others to treat you. To learn more about boundaries, I invite you to join our self-care circle and get your FREE special report, Building Strong Boundaries to Create Breathing Space in Your Hectic Life.

Gladys M. Anderson – Life Coach, Therapist, Author

Gladys M. Anderson, helps nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists and other care-giving women to set limits so they have more time, more joy and more energy for self-care.

Step Out Boldly with Confidence, Courage and Clarity

You can easily learn to live with confidence, courage and clarity by simply putting into practice some new ways of thinking about the messages you’ve internalized that prevent you from living life to the fullest.

Imagine constantly hearing the message, “children should be seen and not heard”?  That’s a message that shuts down creativity, self-expression and pushes your confidence level down deeper than a ship sunken at the bottom of the ocean.

I certainly heard that along with a lot of other limiting messages.  But, the good news is I no longer carry the burden of limitation, doubt and fear.

And, you don’t have to either.

You may not have experienced such a shut down as this but many people have. And that ultimately leads to a lack of confidence, fear and a profound hesitancy to express your feelings or ask for what you want.

Fortunately, that kind of thinking has become obsolete (at least I certainly hope so).

I’ve learned to counter those negative messages and teach countless women to overcome fear, self doubt so they can live with confidence, courage and clarity.

And, here are some tips you can use to step boldly into the life you want and deserve:

  • Crush Fear At Its Root – Fear is what keeps you stuck in a mindset of limitation, doubt and uncomfortable in unfamiliar situations where you don’t know the outcome. You may not know the outcome of an experience but take the first step anyway. When you do what you are afraid of or uncomfortable doing, you will triumph over fear every time.
  • Be Open To Possibilities – You have unlimited possibilities available to you every day to pursue your dreams and live fulfilled and meaningful lives. Brainstorm ways to tap into the possibilities available to you.
  • Stop Making Excuses – Excuses prevent you from living life out loud with courage, confidence and clarity and keeps you from moving forward. Banish excuses and replace them with what is possible.
  • Repeat Positive Affirmations – Affirmations will lift your spirit and build your confidence level. For example, “I receive confidence and self-assurance as often as I need it”; “I am open to limitless possibilities”.
  • Encourage Yourself Often – Give yourself a pat on the back or a gold star every time you open up to a new possibility, or do something you fear. Doing so builds the confidence you need to try something new and different.
  • Make informed choices and stick to your decision – Once you are sure of what’s best for YOU, choices become easier because you’re not trying to live up to someone else’s expectations or looking for validation or acceptance.

No matter what experiences you’ve had that zapped your confidence, has you stuck in fear or uncertain about what steps to take next, you can begin today to make changes that will greatly enhance your life.  A great way to start living with courage, confidence and clarity is by getting my free special report, Building Strong Boundaries to Create More Breathing Space in Your Hectic Life.

Gladys M. Anderson – Life Coach, Therapist, Author

Gladys Anderson helps nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists and other care-giving women to set limits so they have more time, more joy and more energy for self-care.

Build Relationship Resiliency

Build relationship resiliency so that you have strong relationships with your partners, family, friends and colleagues. All of the relationships you have hinge on the one you develop with yourself.

When your inner relationship suffers, all other connections fall short of being as effective as they could be.

For example:

  • Feeling undeserving will prevent you from experiencing the joy and happiness you are worthy of.
  • Fearfulness keeps you stuck and connected to people and behaviors that create negativity and doubt into your life.
  • You may allow others to make decisions for you based on a faulty belief that your ideas and thoughts will be rejected.

A strong foundation of confidence and self-worth are the building blocks to relationship building with yourself and others.  And if, on occasion, you feel you don’t deserve goodness and happiness, the feeling is short lived when you are resilient and can bounce back to your true self.

Here are some ways you can spark a resilient relationship:

  • Choose to speak up and boldly ask for what you want.
  • Cultivate the belief that you deserve happiness, joy, prosperity and abundance in your life.
  • Let go of negative, energy-draining people and situations.
  • Detach your emotional energy from pessimism and the exhausting demands on your time and power.
  • Be open to attract more positive interactions and circumstances in your life.
  • Replace faulty beliefs about how you are perceived with confidence building affirmations.
  • Acknowledge and appreciate your accomplishments without waiting for validation, approval and acceptance from others.
  • Establish strong limits around what is acceptable, what you are willing to do and how much you can comfortably give.

And, if you are ready to build a resilient relationships in your life  you may want to start with your FREE download of 7 Daily Self Care Tips to Renew Your Mind, Body and Spirit.

 

What’s in Your Self-Care Toolbox?

What’s in your self-care toolbox? Just as you have physical tools to complete tasks and projects, you also use tools that help you maintain your self-care.

You probably have a computer, smartphone, e-reader or other tool that you use to stay organized, focused, entertained and on track.  These are the same tools that once were considered faddish, sophisticated or out of reach for the average user.

Yet, most of us can’t imagine our lives without our cell phones, electronic calendars, music players and game consoles.

Can you recall what it was like to connect with your long distance family and friends or even conduct business before we had Skype, Facebook, e-mail, or webcams?  These are the tools that are so ingrained in our everyday lives that we now take them for granted.

I may be dating myself, but I can recall when we wrote letters that took 5-7 days to reach the recipient or the days when my long distance charges could feed several families in a third world country.

Tools serve a useful purpose in our daily lives. And in most cases, tools make our lives easier and more manageable. Our self-care toolbox is as essential as the scissors we use to cut paper and fabric or hammers and nails to hold things together.

In other words, a tool can be considered anything that helps us get the job done whether it’s a physical task or the emotional job of living your best life.

For instance, here are some of the things I have in my self-care toolbox that help me to stay organized, focused, accountable and inspired:

  • A journal for recording thoughts, desires, and feelings that otherwise I might forget
  • Passion about the things I love
  • Humor for the time when life trips me up
  • Calendar to make sure I adhere to a schedule
  • Kindness to offset hurtful behaviors and harsh words
  • Address book so I don’t have to remember a multitude of cell phone numbers, home phone numbers, email addresses and birthdays
  • Gratitude journal to remind me to be thankful for what I already have
  • Affirmations to replace negative, limiting and scarcity filled messages
  • Patience for the times when I’m irritable and rushed
  • Quotes and inspirational writings for the times I need uplifting
  • Good friends whom I can call on for encouragement and support
  • Commitment to finding a way to make it happen

What’s in your self-care toolbox?

And, to get another helpful tool for your self-care toolbox, I invite you to join our self-care circle and get your FREE Special Report, 50 Tips You Can Use To Inspire, Rejuvenate and Motivate Everyday

Gladys Anderson – Life Coach, Therapist, Author

Gladys Anderson helps singles and couples to receive, renovate and restore the love, passion, respect and fun that’s been missing from their relationship with partners, family members, friends, co-workers, children and neighbors so they can create a crystal clear vision for their life and satisfying relationships they truly want.