Self-Awareness is Key to Empowerment

Self awareness is the key to preventing the emotional drama that guides your reactions to situations and other people. Knowing your strengths, weaknesses, vulnerabilities, thoughts and feelings is a big step towards knowing who you really are.

Without such knowledge, we end up vulnerable, frustrated, inauthentic, unmotivated and often unsuccessful in achieving our dreams.

Here are some quick self awareness tips to motivate and inspire you:

Slow down 

Have you ever noticed how fast you breathe when you are rushed or in a hurry to get somewhere?  Most of us rarely engage in mindful breathing and consequently we are in a state of anxiety most days. Learn to notice your breathing by setting aside a few minutes each day to breathe purposely and deeply. Sit quietly and inhale and exhale for five minutes each day.  I’m sure you will be less stressed, more relaxed, focused and energetic.

Let go of negative thoughts

From time to time, we all have thoughts that try to limit what we can achieve or become.  I’ve given these thoughts a name, “Negative Nelly” and a whiny voice. We all know how annoying “whiny” can be.  So, when Negative Nelly perches on my shoulder invading my thoughts trying to prevent me from reaching a goal or exploring something new, I imagine her sitting on my shoulder, whispering in that whiny voice.  I refuse to listen for a second and brush her off my shoulder like the pest she is.  Whether you’ve given your inner critic a name and voice or not, she’s there.  Don’t listen to her.  Instead replace your “Negative Nelly” with a “Patty Positive” whispering your virtues and strengths in your ear.

Create a vision for the life you want

It’s second nature for a lot of people to spend time thinking about what’s not working for them and what stops them from achieving what they want in life. Spend time creating either a visual (vision board) or mental image of the things you want to attract in your life  (a new career, a mate, more time, financial security, travel, etc.).  Whatever desires you have, a vision is essential. An architect first has a vision in her mind of the structure she wants to create. She then sets about to put into place the blueprint to support her vision.  The vision for your life is similar.  First, you must take the time to allow your vision to evolve.   Any thought, idea, concept or object that comes to your mind would not exist if you didn’t already have the ability, desire and talent to bring it to fruition.

And, to get more self-awareness tips, tools and resources that will renovate your relationships with partners, family members, co-workers and friends, I invite you to get my book, Master the Genie Within: Uncover, Embrace and Celebrate the Real You.

Gladys Anderson helps individuals and couples to renovate their relationships with partners, family members, friends and co-workers.

Popular Self-Care Tip Posts

Woman stressed and frustratedHave you ever spent hours jumping from one web link to another trying to gather relevant self-care tip posts only to find yourself in a maze of information overload?

I have and I know just how time-consuming and frustrating that can be.

Don’t you sometimes wish you had a handy reference guide put together with several articles about your specific search topic all in one place?

Now you do…

Periodically I will publish a list of previously posted popular self-care tips and strategies that I’ve rounded up from various sources on the web to make it easier for you to get self-care tips and more all in one place.   Here’s the list:

15 Self-Care Tips for Anyone Who Works Too Much
Nichole Liloia on MindBodyGreen
Choose from these 15 self-care tips to make self-care a part of your regular practice so that you feel good about taking care of yourself (and you get a break from your work!).

The Absolute Worst Things To Do When You’re Stressed Out
Jena Pincott on Oprah.com
When life comes at you fast and furious, the last thing you want to do is make things even harder on yourself. Start by avoiding these 8 stress  traps

Girl on a Ledge – Moving Past Your Fears 
Marisa Leighon on Huffington Post
Girl on a ledge describes perfectly that feeling we have when fear keeps us stuck in the same old patterns, trying to decide how to make the transition from fearful to courageous.

How to Build Self Confidence
Zorka Hereford on Essential Life Skill.net
How we see ourselves is more important than how anyone else sees us. If we don’t work at loving and accepting ourselves, nothing anyone else thinks matters.

Four Ways to Deal With Stress
Posted by the American Heart Association
Use these four simple techniques to combat stress

How Fear Keeps us Stuck (and what to do about it) – Posted on Unstuck.com
9 tips to help you get unstuck and move past the fear

What’s in Your Self-Care Toolbox?
Posted on gladysanderson.com
To stay organized, focused, accountable and inspired, use these handy tools from your self-care toolbox.

If you enjoyed these popular self-care tip posts, please leave a comment to let me know what resonates with you and what other topic you would like me to pull together for you.

In the meantime, for more self-care tips and insights, I invite you to check out my book, Master the Genie Within: Uncover, Embrace and Celebrate the Real You

Gladys Anderson helps individuals and couples to renovate their relationships with partners, family members, friends and co-workers.

 

The Power of Quiet Time

Quiet timeMost of us don’t have quiet time. We’re usually too busy to sit quietly for even a minute. We certainly don’t believe we deserve a space of our own in which to go within to replenish our energy.

In the book, A Room of One’s Own, Virginia Woolf refers to a woman needing a quiet space of her own to write. I doubt if Woolf could have envisioned the hectic lives most women live today. Whether we apply it to writing or other areas of our lives, Woolf’s message is still relevant. We all need some quiet time and a space to reflect and reclaim a sense of well-being.

Some of us manage to build quiet time into our busy days but others constantly complain about a lack of time.

Most often, it’s not time we lack but rather, we regret forfeiting quiet time to reflect, re-center and regain a sense of well-being. Quiet time helps us to unwind from our daily stressors, engage in an activity we enjoy or just sit quietly to replenish our energy.

When I don’t build some quiet time into my day, it seems as though I’m on a merry-go-round – going nowhere fast. But when I make it a point to schedule some quiet time into my day, my life doesn’t seem quite so hectic.

There’s a reason why hospitals advocate for quietness. It’s so patients can restore their strength and regain health. You don’t have to be in a hospital to regain your strength and reclaim a sense of well-being.

Instead, use these power of quiet time tips to reflect and re-center yourself:

Request some quiet time if you live in a “busy’ household. I’ve found that often a request is all that is needed to get what you want. Rarely will your request be denied. And even if it is, you must take charge of your life by having the courage to do what is best for you.

Make space for yourself away from everyone else. A busy mother once told me that her quiet time was a relaxing bubble bath at the end of her day. She taught her family not to disturb her during this time.

Take a walk around your neighborhood for 15-20 minutes. I often find a short walk alone quiets my mind and re-energizes me.

Spend quality time with others. Most couples know that in order to stay connected and strengthen their relationship they must spend quality time together, focused on each other. Spending quality time with those you care about means listening and giving that person your undivided attention. You can’t give another person your undivided attention when you are busy checking email, texting or thinking about your next project.

Listen to soothing music. Music is a natural relaxant and reduces stress.

For more tips and insights like these, I invite you to check out my book, Master the Genie Within: Uncover, Embrace and Celebrate the Real You

 

Gladys Anderson helps individuals and couples to renovate their relationships with partners, family members, friends and co-workers.

Who do you think you are?

canstockphoto1212266Who do you think you are is a refrain that fear whispers in my ear regularly.

The only purpose for fear landing on my shoulder, whispering my ear, “who do you think you are” is to stop me dead in my tracks, so I won’t take the next step toward realizing a dream or doing something that will bring me joy.

You may not even realize fear has you in its clutches until you are gripped with immobility, indecisiveness and self-doubt.  By then you’ve put aside your dreams, your aspirations and lack the energy to move forward.

In other words, you’re the passenger not the pilot in your own vehicle.

How do you silence “fear talk” when she whispers in your ear,  “who do you think you are”?

You silence her the same as you would any other pest.

1) First, you flick her off your shoulder like the annoying pest she is so she no longer has access to your ear.

2)  Tell her that she’s not the boss of you and go away. Like most bullies when you stand up to fear, she will run the other way or at least leave you alone and walk fast towards her next victim.

Once you prevent fear from accessing your ear, swatted her from your shoulder and sent on her way, you no longer have an excuse to stay stuck. Now you are free to pursue your dreams and show up in the world as the fearless, authentic woman you really are.

So what are you waiting for?

Get fear off your shoulder and start living the life you deserve and want.

For more tips and insights like these, check out my book, Master the Genie Within: Uncover, Embrace and Celebrate the Real You.

Easy Tip to Block Negativity

Stop NegativityHow can I stop negativity coming at me from other people? is a question I hear a lot.  Most of the time what is really being said is “I’m not negative, other people are”…It’s much more comfortable to blame others that it is to take responsibility for our personal thoughts, actions and responses.

While you certainly can’t control negativity in speech or behavior from other people, keep in mind you are in control of your own thoughts, feelings, behaviors and responses.  When you start to recognize that you control what you think, your behaviors and responses to situations, people and events will shift dramatically. When a negative statement is made in your presence, first, you want to take 2-3 really deep breaths before your respond or react. This will give you time to reframe the negativity into something more positive and at the same time maintain your positive attitude.

If you’re trying to change, manipulate or control what someone else is thinking or doing, you’re neglecting what you’re thinking or doing

Here’s an easy tip to block negativity whenever you experience a negative emotion from words or actions:

Make a circle on both hands with your index finger and thumb, similar to the “okay” sign. You can easily do this with your hands down to your sides, behind your back or in your pockets.  And while the person is spewing negativity, you are closing off the negative energy with your thumb and index finger and keeping it from entering your mindset.

Try it the next time someone is negative around you or use it when you recognize you are being negative. It really works!

You can find more on negativity and other self help tips in my book, Master the Genie Within: Uncover, Embrace and Celebrate the Real You

Light My Fire

4th_July fireworksTalk about “light my fire”! I recently participated in a riveting 30-day challenge – “Reclaim Your Sass” – with awesome, Jennifer Boykin. I was faced head on with the reality of my fears, self-doubt and indecisiveness in a most gentle, caring authentic way that resonated deep within me. I usually shy away from these kinds of challenges because I get bored, think they are too hokey or require more time and energy than I’m willing to invest but something about this challenge peaked my interest.

I had already started the process of probing deeply into my fears and transparency,  which I shared with you in an earlier post.  So Jennifer’s challenge resonated with me in a profound way.

I completed the 30-day challenge on Sunday and  this Fourth of July weekend reminds me to light my fire and get on with the business of living fearlessly, joyfully and authentically.

Here in the USA, the Fourth of July is celebrated with sparkling fireworks, parades, grills fired up to cook our favorite barbecue and reconnecting with family and friends.  And, it keeping with the theme of fire( works), I thought this would be a good time for me to light my fire so I can sparkle and turn that smoldering flame into my own personal fireworks.

Do you need to light your fire?

If you are willing to light your fire like  fireworks decorating the sky on the Fourth of July, here are some tips to ignite you:

1. Rescue your sparkle – your sparkle is not gone, you just need to reach deep inside to reclaim it. Could it be it’s concealed under layers of self-doubt? If so, let’s start today peeling away just one layer.

2.Turn up the heat – If you cook, you know that the higher the heat the more of a risk you have of burning your food. The same principle applies when we move at record speed with no down time for self-care. It leaves us susceptible to burnout and fatigue. Perhaps starting a morning or evening ritual such as a brisk walk or quiet time will help reduce the chance of burnout.

3. Sing your praises – It’s not conceited or arrogant to honor your accomplishments. In other words, pat yourself on the back when you complete a specific undertaking.

If this post rings a bell for you, please take a moment to connect with us by sharing your comments, reactions or questions.

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!!

Master the Art of Preparation

Master the Art of PreparationI was reminded of the concept of preparation recently when my husband, who is a chef, received his association magazine, Mise en Place (a French phrase for “put in place”). In the chef’s world, the term means to organize the necessary tools and ingredients for the evening meal.

When you master the art of preparation, you are not just focused on the details, outcome and possibilities.  While these things are important, preparation means that you have armed yourself with not only the necessary tools, resources and knowledge to get the job done but you are also prepared mentally and physically.

Most of us think of preparation as the steps we take to get ready for an event or undertaking such as preparing for a party. We are usually well aware of the tangible “things” we need to get the job done.  But, do you remember to prepare mentally and physically first?

Recently I took on the task of painting my bedroom.  Painting, filling nail holes where pictures hung, sanding and taping around doors and window sills was almost the easy part.  Yes, I got the job done but with untold stress and fatigue. What I neglected was to prepare myself physically and mentally.  Yes, I did all the prep work needed for the painting but neglected to prepare my mind and body by getting enough rest beforehand and organizing everything I needed in a way that was manageable for the task. Often when we are undertaking a task, we neglect to think of our mind as body as part of the prep work when we assemble the tools we need to carry out our plans.  Mental and physical preparation is the first step you need to take before you forge into any task at hand.

You can use the same concept of preparation as chefs do – put in place everything you will need including your self-care!

Here are some tips to think about as you master the art of preparation for your next project:

1. Before undertaking a project, make sure you’re not already overwhelmed by something else.

2. Get plenty of rest before you start your project.

3. Take deep relaxing breaths to center yourself before you tackle the job.

4. Assemble everything you will need to accomplish your undertaking.

5. Make sure you have replacement tools and extra supplies.

6. Will you need assistance?  If so, who can you call on to help you?

7.  Ask for help, if you need it.

8.  Have you mentally and physically prepared yourself to take on this project?

9. Do you have a reasonable time frame to complete the task?

Imagine how empowered you would feel if you took the time to master the art of preparation before your next project, vacation or the beginning of your day.

Whether you’re preparing your evening meal or undertaking a project or task, when you master the art of preparation by embracing the chef’s concept of “Mise en Place“, you have put everything in place that you need to get the job done, including your self-care. You are less stressed, less anxious, more confident and better prepared so that your project goes smoothly.

Before you start on your next project or task, contact me so I can help you with the mental and physical preparation so that you not only get the results you want but you are also prepared mentally and physically for the task at hand.